Natural Selection at it's Best

Everyone should already be familiar with how much I hate stupidity as a personality trait, but we’re revisiting the subject again because it never gets old, and my stance on the issue is re-proved every single day.

In specific today, we’re going to discuss one of my favourite awards – scratch that, my favourite award – the Darwin Awards. Bertrand Russell claims that “many people would sooner die than think [and] in fact, they do,” and it is my opinion that he’s speaking about the recipients of the Darwin Awards. The majority of the people who qualify for the Award are in fact dead, so this makes total sense! What Russell isn’t taking into account is that by choosing to be morons these people are actually doing the rest of the population a huge favour. By eliminating themselves from the gene pool they are ensuring that their stupidity is not passed on to their offspring, and they are not able to interfere with the learning of the coming generation.

I wish that I knew someone who qualified for a Darwin Award, but unfortunately none of t he stupid people that I know have actually died from their poor choices. Obviously they’re not trying hard enough! The other way that you can qualify for the Award is to ensure that you cannot reproduce, and in this category I actually know a few people who by complete accident have made sure that they will not produce any more little morons. As far as I know, none of them have physically injured themselves to stop the process, but the subconscious way that they’re staying celibate is actually quite amazing. The biggest moron that I know (no I’m not naming names, but I’m sure many of you know who he is, since I’ve complained about him many many times before) is in his mid-40s, and is single, with absolutely no hope of ever having intimate relations. This obviously isn’t a choice that he made, but his personality is so unattractive to women (especially in our Western culture where women are equals to men) that there is NO WAY that he’ll ever have a girlfriend. So thanks, Mr.  Chauvanist Pig, for being so repulsive and creepy that you’ll never reproduce!

If you want to read more about the Darwin Awards, check out their website! If you’re really feeling brave send them an email nominating someone. Or if you’re not feeling too brave, but feel the need to vent, then leave a comment here. You’re surrounded by others (ie ME) who hate stupidity just as much as you do, so don’t be shy, share your stories!

I am a princess, damnit!

Most of us who grew up during the 1990s were subject to an overabundance of Disney movies. Along with unrealistic expectations in relationships these movies also inspired many of us, including this blog-mistress, to want to be a princess of real life. Yet there aren’t that many real life princes, and those that are available are incredibly hard to get to. So instead we have to settle for dressing like princesses in everyday life.

When most girls turn 19 (or another “special” birthday) the tradition has become to adorn them with tiaras during the festivities. If they do not take charge of this themselves they are often subjected to dollar store crowns meant for children (and which often come adorned with Disney princess pictures), but those of us who are lucky enough to have good friends get to wear rhinestoned tiaras that actually look nice. Being the control freak that I am, when I turned 20 I insisted that I buy my own tiara so that it would be one which I actually wanted to wear. Of all my ridiculous purchases in the name of fashion my tiara has become something that I am rather proud to own J

Two and a half years later I’m still wearing the tiara, but for an entirely different purpose. As one of the Halloween Costume Consultants at work it’s my responsibility to dress up, and inspire other people to be creative with their own costumes. While all of my costumes are creative and adorable, my princess attire garners me more compliments than any other get up. Whether I pair it with one of my own poufy princess dresses, or the “baroness” costume from work there are “oohs” and “ahhs” aplenty. There is no age limit to who can dress up as a princess for Halloween; we see children, teenagers, and even some moms requesting princess dresses!  Unfortunately dressing up as a princess seems to be a complicated idea for most people, as we don’t carry pre-made princess costumes for adults. There are two easy solutions to this connundrum: find a poufy party dress or find an old prom dress. Either of these are easy to find for relatively inexpensive prices, and then all you need to do is add a tiara and some sparkly jewelry! Most novelty jewelrey stores carry a variety of tiaras and crowns, with Claire’s, Icing’s, and Ardene’s having the best styles. Now all you need is a prince to make the costume picture perfect!

What I’ve found when wearing my tiara in public is that I get two very opposite reactions. Most people are extremely complimentary, and treat me like the princess I am, but some people have the nerve to scoff and be derrogatory. My only response to those people is: “Off with their heads!”