Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Natural Selection at it's Best

Everyone should already be familiar with how much I hate stupidity as a personality trait, but we’re revisiting the subject again because it never gets old, and my stance on the issue is re-proved every single day.

In specific today, we’re going to discuss one of my favourite awards – scratch that, my favourite award – the Darwin Awards. Bertrand Russell claims that “many people would sooner die than think [and] in fact, they do,” and it is my opinion that he’s speaking about the recipients of the Darwin Awards. The majority of the people who qualify for the Award are in fact dead, so this makes total sense! What Russell isn’t taking into account is that by choosing to be morons these people are actually doing the rest of the population a huge favour. By eliminating themselves from the gene pool they are ensuring that their stupidity is not passed on to their offspring, and they are not able to interfere with the learning of the coming generation.

I wish that I knew someone who qualified for a Darwin Award, but unfortunately none of t he stupid people that I know have actually died from their poor choices. Obviously they’re not trying hard enough! The other way that you can qualify for the Award is to ensure that you cannot reproduce, and in this category I actually know a few people who by complete accident have made sure that they will not produce any more little morons. As far as I know, none of them have physically injured themselves to stop the process, but the subconscious way that they’re staying celibate is actually quite amazing. The biggest moron that I know (no I’m not naming names, but I’m sure many of you know who he is, since I’ve complained about him many many times before) is in his mid-40s, and is single, with absolutely no hope of ever having intimate relations. This obviously isn’t a choice that he made, but his personality is so unattractive to women (especially in our Western culture where women are equals to men) that there is NO WAY that he’ll ever have a girlfriend. So thanks, Mr.  Chauvanist Pig, for being so repulsive and creepy that you’ll never reproduce!

If you want to read more about the Darwin Awards, check out their website! If you’re really feeling brave send them an email nominating someone. Or if you’re not feeling too brave, but feel the need to vent, then leave a comment here. You’re surrounded by others (ie ME) who hate stupidity just as much as you do, so don’t be shy, share your stories!

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