Yesterday

So, some pretty bad shit went down the other week in my life. One part of it wasn’t a huge deal, but the other part of it sent me into a pretty random and unpleasant depression spiral even though I tried to fight it.

We’ll touch on the first part of it (which was actually the second negative occurrence of the week). Once again, two and a half months seems to be my maximum for keeping relationships going. Ironically, my reaction wasn’t tears and sadness, it was “ughhhh I don’t have time for this, wtffffff, this is so annoying.” Now that I think about it I find it quite funny actually. Not to worry though, we decided to stay friends and I think we’re better that way. After all, he did say I could still take him shopping :D

The second part of it was the big deal (which actually happened first, chronologically). My dog, TJ, who I’ve had for 11 years died, and as I predicted I did not take it well. Beside myself, TJ was the person I cared about most in the world (sorry bffs and parentals, but it’s true) and he’s the only person who I cried over when I left the West Coast. Thankfully I was not at home when I got the news, and I had to make myself keep it together because crying in class is bullshit, as would have been cancelling the shopping trip I had planned for that day. I’m still not really talking about it, and I can’t say it out loud because I would probably start crying, and I really just don’t have time to be a huge crying mess. Just for comparrisson: remember when I broke up with the last ex, and I cried for about 4 months over it (I don’t really understand why that happenned because I didn’t love him)? This would be about a hundred times worse, because TJ was my baby. So I would be in for about a year of crying myself to sleep… Which is just not in my life plan. So I’m dealing with it silently and slowly, because I don’t have time for a quarter life crisis. I have a goddamn degree to graduate from, a whole bunch of straight As to achieve, and a fabulous job to land in the next year, so I’m just going to keep on going. And in the meantime, I’ll listen to lots of upbeat music and eat lots of chocolate!