Tuesday, 9 July 2013


image from Tumblr

A very wise man once said that flaws are the best part of people; two people with flaws can come together and make eachother stronger.

Another very wise man once said that we’re all a little weird, but when we find someone who’s weirdness is compatible with ours we call it love.

Sorry to burst your bubbles Dr. Seuss & Aiden Shaw, but sometimes the flaws are also what keeps us apart. Flaws may make for finding your BFF-soulmate, but when it comes to the opposite sex it gets a whole lot more complicated. Do we have unreasonably high expectations for boyfriends, or is it just simply easier to find platonic mutual weirdness?

Let’s explore a few scenarios and see what the outcome is in the best friend vs (ex)boyfriend battle.

Shoes (as in an obsession with): Best friend loves it, encourages it, and it’s a friendly competition of who has more and who got the best deal. Ex-boyfriends can’t handle the marathon shopping trips, say I have an addiction, and think it’s a waste of money. Pretty obvious who the winner is there.

Being a bitch (as in all the time): Best friend finds it amusing, loves sarcasm as much as I do, and understands that I criticise because I care. Ex-boyfriends think it’s annoying, don’t always understand sarcasm, and think I’m nitpicking and criticizing for real. Maybe it’s a difference in tone or a gender communication thing, but this issue is always a big flaw in romantic relationships, and generally isn’t when it comes to my girls.

Pickles (as in I hate them): Best friend doesn’t care what I don’t eat, yet ex-boyfriends are constantly trying to change my mind. Maybe I just go out with guys who are bossy when it comes to food, but it’s always seemed kind of weird that they uniformly have issues with what I eat. Is there some sort of hidden relationship rule that I’m missing that goes “thou shalt eat of the same foodstuffs as thy partner – and nothing else,” because I can’t see any other reason why guys seem to get so worked up about food specifics. Shouldn’t they be happy when I offer them the pickle off my burger like I do with my best friend? In fact, I would trade them for lettuce or tomatoe (because that’s what the BFF procedure is)!

Clearly we have a double standard situation going on, even though there’s really no reason for it. Something is clearly different in how we treat our best friends and our boyfriends, and maybe it’s just as simple as we don’t have the same expectations for female and male companionship, but why does it seem easier to overlook and accept the flaws of our best friends? I personally invest as much emotionally (though clearly not physically) in my female friendships as I do with boyfriends, yet I have no issue writing over the fact that some of them have cheated in the past yet I still trust them implicitly, while exboyfriends who cheat will never again be in the running. Maybe I’ve just been lucky to find girlfriends who are the same type of weird as I am, and have to keep looking for the boy who supports my multiple personalities – afterall, I did run through quite a few exfriends before I found the perfect BFFs. 


  1. Three words: Boys are dumb.
    Seriously though, I feel like the biggest hurdle to overcome when dealing with romantic relationships is that wall of expectations. Even the biggest vices of a best friend are easy to discard with a simple "ehh, it's not my problem" but when it comes down to a prospective partner, I guess the perception is that it is your problem. There's a level of finality in a romantic relationship that isn't there for a friendship. Even if you do say "best friends forever," that doesn't mean you can't make new friends, possibly even new best friends. The same is not true for most romances. Haha

  2. Good point Dan. Why the heck do we feel responsible for our significant others though? When it comes down to it, it's no more our problem than if it was our best friend being badly behaved! In fact, I think I've gotten in more trouble over how my friends act than boyfriends!