Don't Even Get Me Started

Tis the Hallowe’en season, and what better theme for the week than my favourite spooky costume inspiration: VAMPIRES!

I love vampires, and I always have, but there’s one exception. I’m sure you all know exactly which sparkly douche-bag of a vampire I’m referring to. Seriously you don’t want to get me started on the many reasons why it’s filth and has spoiled the good name of vampire fiction, so I’m not even going to say a word. If you know me, then you’ve probably heard my rant anyways. If you really want to witness my death glare (which I accidentally did in class the other day when it was brought up as a comparison to Romeo and Juliet) then go right ahead, dare speak its name in my presence. But beware, it won’t be pretty, and you might lose a limb or two.

Instead I’m going to give you some suggestions of other vampire fiction, so that maybe you’ll go and read something worthwhile.

First off, read the original Dracula by Bram Stoker. It’s not my favourite vampire book (since I’m a big fan of vampires who aren’t complete jerks), but it’s something that you should experience to compare it to the rest of the books.

this picture might be my computer wallpaper >_>
image from here

Next, go and get your self any of the Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice. She is the best, and so are her vampires. Lestat is a babe, and totally messed up, and so are all of the other vampires in the books. They’re a bit dense (hellooo writing from the perspective of a 1700s-era vampire is going to be a bit of a disconnect), but highly enjoyable. I personally recommend Blood and Gold, since Marius is my favourite vampire ever. He’s from Ancient Rome, and he’s a scholar and a realist and an artist, so his story is pretty interesting. The Vampire Armand is also pretty good, since Armand is almost as screwed up as Lestat is.

image from here

If you want something a little “lighter” then go for some Christopher Moore. His vampire trilogy includes the books Bloodsucking Fiends, You Suck, and Bite Me is hilarious, and definitely has a more teen-aged bent. The reaction of people seeing you reading a book that’s called You Suck in public is worth it, even if you don’t particularly enjoy Moore comedic stylings.

image from here

One last suggestion before I sign off is the classic German novel Das Parfum (translated it’s called Perfume in English) by Patrick Süskind. It’s eerie, it’s creepy, and definitely horrifying. It may not be a “traditional” blood-sucking vampires book, but it’s one that I feel the list would be incomplete without!

Feel free to add your suggestions to the comments (seriously please do), since I’m all about encouraging people to read other vampire books than the drivel that shall not be named, and I can always use some more books on my reading list!